One Pastor's response to the effect of Charlie Kirk on Christians.

Here's how I responded in my DMs this week.

Even though I received uninvited messages merely hours after Charlie Kirk was shot, asking why I wasn’t saying anything about it, I knew it wasn’t my time to respond. I actually posted a story and deleted it within minutes because I’ve learned the hard way that when I question something I’ve said online, it usually means I shouldn’t have. That night as I lay in bed I crafted a 2nd post but chose to hit delete instead of send.

It’s not because I didn’t have thoughts. I did and I do. I have spoken out against Charlie Kirk’s damaging rhetoric in the past and I imagine I’ll do it again in the future. But my spirit was unsettled because I knew it wasn’t the right time. He did not deserve to have his life taken away like that. And. The people he has demeaned with his words did not deserve to be mistreated by him. Two things can be true at the same time, but that doesn’t mean the time to bring them up is immediate. We have to leave space to mourn with those who mourn and try to listen to their perspectives if we hope to have any influence in helping them see how harmful his/their beliefs are.

On a whim the next morning, I jumped on an Instagram story to 1) explain that I was waiting on Holy Spirit to give me direction, which started in a private prayer time with me and God first thing that morning and 2) to let my community know that I was listening if they needed a safe space to process.

I have never had more messages as hundreds of people, many reaching out to me for the very first time, poured out their hearts and hurts over the assassination, the Evergreen High School shooting and the way their Christian friends were responding. In the video I said that I would circle back and, as it’s proving impossible to keep up with the messages, I want to respond here to the themes that I saw repeatedly. I hope one of these helps you feel seen, encouraged that you are not alone in your feelings and rooted in the hope of what we can actually do moving forward. These are direct responses I sent some of you who trusted me to pastor you through this tough moment:

For those who are sad:

This is how we should feel. Charlie Kirk did not deserve to have his life taken away because someone disliked or disagreed with him. No one who claims to follow Jesus should be rejoicing in or celebrating human suffering. That goes for political violence, the innocent kids being gunned down in their classrooms, the neglected people in Gaza and the attack against Iryna Zarutska on the Charlotte Lightrail. Any time we see strip the Imago Dei image of God from another person it grieves God’s heart.

For those who are scared:

The fear is real. AND it is a tactic of the enemy to silence and distract and deceive people. God’s justice will always prevail. We know we are on the right side of history, and the gospel, when we choose to stay rooted in the love of Jesus that allows us to enter someone else’s pain even when we can’t relate to their experience. Don’t let fear keep you from speaking the truth and living it out by your actions.

It doesn’t seem natural to lean in on empathy for someone whose words built and upheld the very system that took his life and oppressed others. It doesn’t seem natural to have compassion for the people who are idolizing only a few things Charlie Kirk said as if the degrading statements he made will just vanish now that he’s not the one saying them. That’s because there is nothing natural about it. It’s supernatural. And the only way to choose love over hate, compassion over retaliation, peace over violence or hope over fear is through the power of God’s spirit at work within us. We have the Holy Spirit available to us to help us, guide us and give us the strength to follow the seemingly backward way of Jesus. But we are also people whose humanity pulls us in the other direction, often influenced by our thoughts or emotions or other manipulations of the enemy who wants to steal, kill and destroy everything in our lives. Our humanity and God’s spirit have to be separated so we can discern which one to listen to and be clear about which one is guiding our response. It is only perfect love that drives out fear.

For those who have big feelings about other Christians:

Your family and friends saw Charlie Kirk as a defender of the faith and someone bold enough to openly share his Christianity. The posts you are seeing and the conversations you are having range from memorializing his best moments to idolizing him to conflating him with Christ as the crucified leader of religion. Some of you are being attacked and told that your Christianity isn’t real because you disagree with him.

I feel you. I have moments of rage when I feel like I’m screaming into the void while my brothers and sisters in Christ put their hands over their ears and say “nah nah nah-nah nah I can’t hear you.” I have moments of deep grief when I see people I love so misguided by this false, manipulated version of Christianity that they equate Charlie Kirk with faith leaders like MLK or even Jesus himself. It’s exhausting and frustrating to hear that people who manipulated the message of Jesus are martyrs for the faith. I can respect that Charlie Kirk was speaking bold words about what he believed, but they weren’t the heart of Jesus.

At best, your family and friends weren’t on the receiving end of Charlie Kirk’s damaging ideologies so they never felt the affect of his beliefs and truly don’t see that they have entered the widespread movement of Christian Nationalism. It’s privileged, but they are grieving a spiritual leader. At worst, they are choosing to turn a blind eye and not acknowledge that when they align themselves with someone whose faith operated in exclusive, racist, homophobic, discriminatory methods, they are agreeing with that part as well. I think the people calling him a martyr want to believe that Charlie was Godly because they relate to him. He represents them in a way. They want to only see the good he did and look away from the harm because if they can get people to overlook his toxic theology, we’ll overlook theirs too. Many of you are grieving the way your family and friends seem to be saying the quiet part out loud in their support of this kind of Christianity and while I am not calling for further divide, it is important to know whose values yours align with as you pursue what it looks like to follow Jesus.

For those who are temped to leave Christianity:

My heart breaks for you because I know the pain of that tension, having one foot in and one foot out the door. I know the feeling of hopelessness and fear that you’re about to lose it all - your faith, your identity, your people. I know the infuriating confusion of sharing the same title as people who supposedly hear the same gospel but live it out in a completely different way. Events like this can be incredibly revealing as we learn what people care about and how they interpret scripture. It can be highly disorienting when the words and actions of Christians you looked up to feel misaligned with the words and actions of Christ.

I’m not going to tell you how to feel because I know it’s complicated. I’m not going to tell you you need to be in a church if the one you’ve been a part of is unhealthy. But when you’re ready, I’ll be praying you’re able to separate God from some of his people. That you’ll be able to find grace to extend to the people who need Holy Spirit to open their eyes to the discrepancy between Jesus’ gospel of love and the false gospel of marginalization, harm and division under the name of Jesus as justification.

Here’s what I hope:

I hope the people who are speaking up about violence, division and firearm accessibility for the first time will see that hate knows no boundary. That calls for attack and retaliation and a fight against humanity will turn inward on their own as well. I pray the horrors we’ve already seen will be the stepping stones that lead to this realization without needing more loss for conviction.

Unfortunately, people need a turning point. Be it racism, homophobia, gun reform or something else, much of humanity won’t be moved to action unless it hits home. If not their actual people, then the people they relate to or feel a connection to through shared lifestyles, ideologies or commonalities. I pray that the people speaking up about this death, while never acknowledging the assassination of Democratic Speaker of the House Melissa Hortman or the other numerous shootings that have taken place, will let this become an Ebenezer stone that marks a moment in their life of spiritual shifting.

My prayer is that - even if we wished they’d gotten here sooner - now that more people have their eyes open to the broken system we’re all living under, they’ll finally concede to the fact that no one is immune to violence born of hate and they’ll join in the advocacy for gun reform and a Christianity that leaves no room for hate. As tragic as it is, maybe the good that will come from an act of evil is a larger movement of people pushing for change.

“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”
Proverbs 10:12 NIV

This is long work, friends. Don’t spin out in the chaos. Don’t grow weary in doing good. We need your voice to continue speaking cruciform love to hate. Feel your feelings and pay attention to what they’re communicating to you. Put your phone down and turn your eyes up. Journal. Pray. Lament. Repent. Then do what you can to let the way of Jesus be the filter for all you say and do.

I’m still listening. We’re still here. (Show up for each other in the comments.) You’re not alone.